Trying to decide how to word this has been a bit difficult. We had another miscarriage last October. It was a devastating time for us and too difficult to fully express. We had thought that we were past all of the misery of miscarriages and I was extremely hopeful and not worrying at all. A few weeks after we found out that we were expecting (the baby would have been due a few weeks before Jolee's birthday) I started to feel that something wasn't right. I went in to the midwives a few times and had an ultrasound done. Everything looked fine and the ultrasound showed a very healthy baby with a great heart beat. Two weeks later, I was sure that something was drastically wrong, I went in and had another ultrasound only to find that the baby had died. No words express how many ways my heart broke. Writing about it now is still difficult. After the miscarriage, I was talking with my midwife and she stated that as soon as I was to get pregnant again, that they would test my progesterone levels to see if it is low which would cause miscarriage in otherwise healthy pregnancy. At first I was hopeful that this would solve our problem and stop me from miscarrying, with time though, I became angry and frustrated that they didn't check my progesterone levels when I had first said that I thought something was wrong. If it was just a low progesterone level that caused my unborn baby to die, why wouldn't they have checked it. Low progesterone is so easy to fix, you just take progesterone twice a day for the first 12 weeks. So there is the background to this story.
I went into to check a post miscarriage check up about 2 months later. I still hadn't had a period yet, but it wasn't thought much of because of my body still healing from the miscarriage. They did follow up blood work and such. The next day I get a phone call from the midwives saying that my HCG level is high. I was in shock. Talk about a surprise, hello you are pregnant. So I immediately went in a had lab work done. Low and behold my progesterone levels were less than half of low normal, meaning that without supplementation of progesterone I would again miscarry. After a bit of drama I was put on progesterone and I ending up changing my OB. I am now off of progesterone and 20 and a half weeks along. We are due the middle of August. The halfway ultrasound looked great. Once again we are not finding out the sex of the baby. The baby likes to do flips, at least that is what it did during the ultrasound. I am still having a little bit of a difficult time emotionally because of the last miscarriage and being scared to death of miscarrying again. I have actually been in a bit of denial. I have tried not to let the idea of pregnancy full register because I don't want to hurt as much as I did if something bad were to happen. I am finally starting to open up a little more and not be as scared. Fingers crossed everything stays going well.
Wednesday, March 30
So we have finally moved. We are adjusting to life in a smaller town and thoroughly enjoying it. We have kept ourselves very busy over the last few days unpacking and doing some yard work. Going from a tiny yard to almost 1/2 acre is quite the change. We still need to get a fence put in so that Chonkiri can go outside without a leash and to keep other dogs out of the yard. The yard has a bunch of fruit trees, but because no one has lived here for the past 2 years, we don't know if they will produce this year or not. We have so many projects going that it is hard to find anytime to sit down.
Sunday, March 20
A few weeks ago when all the drama of not closing on time started, Randy in a way of rebellion decided that he was not going to shave his face until we moved.
Here's to hopefully closing tomorrow and moving sometime this week (I really feel like a broken record due to the number of times I have said that).
Saturday, March 19
After a morning of tearing down all of the vine that had died in this winter's freezes, Jolee got to enjoy some time in the sprinklers. It amazes me how quickly she has grown.
Tuesday, March 8
It is actually going to happen. We are really moving this time. If everything goes through quickly, we will be moved on Friday. If it takes a little longer, we should be moved no later than the middle of next week. I am going a little crazy with last minute packing. Jolee is still working on potty training. Randy is still working. I am still just happy as can be that I have the wonderful family that I have!
Friday, March 4
We are a few steps closer to closing on our new house, but not quite close enough. I am ready to move tomorrow, but it doesn't look like we will close until next week at the soonest and the end of the following week at the latest. My goal is to move next Friday so that Randy will be able to help unpack during spring break. Oh I can't wait!!!
Jolee loves to be silly. Her most recent ventures into silliness include: wearing socks on her hands, wearing a hand towel as a skirt, wearing shirts as pants and trying to wear pants as shirts, stealing Sandy's unmentionables and wearing them around the house, and getting frustrated because she's too small to wear a bra. I think I may have a fashionista on my hands.